A song was stuck in Aakash’s head. It was more of a suggestion of a song because he only remembered the general tune of the chorus and had forgotten the whole lyrics. He believed the lyrics had the words, ‘travelled so far’ and ‘hiding’ in them but he wasn’t sure. The tune had suddenly come to him one day, out of the blue, and now wouldn’t leave him. He didn’t know who the singer was or the name of the song. He had an inkling it was one of those unnamed songs that was in his mp3 player that he had treasured years ago. That mp3 player didn’t work anymore and was sitting somewhere in the recesses of his drawer of old phones, cds, tablets, wires and other such discarded electronics.
He asked his friends, his colleagues, and other people he knew but no one could pinpoint the correct song. It wasn’t too surprising because he couldn’t tell them much about the song and only humming the tune wasn’t quite helpful. He tried to fix his mp3 to no avail, he went to shopkeepers who had transferred songs to his mp3 and asked them but they also couldn’t figure out the song. He thought long and hard and tried to remember more than the goddamn four bars of music that kept repeating in his head but no, nothing would come to him. In the end, he gave up and let time eventually erode the last remnant of the song he had heard years ago.
But in a strange stroke of luck, he heard the song once again. It was being sung by a man with a guitar, sitting on the top of a hill by the roadside. Aakash was walking to the cobbler to repair his shoes when he heard the man. He promptly walked up the hill and over to the man.
“Hello, what song are you singing?” Aakash asked.
The man stopped singing and turned to look at Aakash. The man looked around fifty years of age and had a deep voice. He was wearing an old jacket, jeans and worn out shoes.
“I don’t know what song it is. It just came to me,” the man replied.
“It came to you? What do you mean?” Aakash was puzzled.
“It happens a lot. Forgotten things come to me,” the man said.
Aakash was perplexed. He didn’t quite understand what the man was saying.
“Young man, how is it that you can see and hear me right now?” the man asked.
“What?” Aakash exclaimed. He had never been asked such a question ever before. “... because my eyes and ears work?”
“No, I am usually invisible to people. No one can see or hear me.”
Aakash started thinking that the man was messing with him. “What are you saying? You are not invisible. I can see you right in front of me and we are talking right now, aren’t we?”
The man turned and looked down at the road. A kid was playing with a ball.
“Ask that kid if he can see me,” the man said.
Aakash knew that kid. “Oi Chandra!” Aakash shouted.
The kid stopped playing and looked at Aakash.
“You see this man, don't you?” he asked while pointing at the mysterious man.
Chandra followed the direction of Aakash’s finger with his eyes which went further than the place where Aakash was pointing and kept moving around trying to find the person Aakash was talking about.
“Don’t you see this man?” Aakash asked, pointing again.
“Who are you talking about, Aakash dai? There is no one there.” Chandra said.
Aakash was perplexed yet again. “He is right here. You can’t see him? He is holding a guitar.”
“No, I don't see anyone besides you,” the kid said.
Aakash felt like he was a crazy person. “Come here,” Aakash told Chandra. “I’ll show you.”
“There is no one there, Aakash dai. Why don’t you come to me? Let’s play football,” the kid said.
Aakash was frustrated. “I’m not in the mood right now. You keep playing.”
“See,” the man said. “People can’t see me.”
“Then how am I seeing you?” Aakash asked.
“I don’t know. Today I sang this song and you came to me. I come here and sing everyday but this is the first time in years that anybody has come to me.”
“What? I frequent this road everyday. This is the way to my office. I have never seen you on this hill before or heard you sing before today.”
“Then it’s probably the song,” the man said. “No one else remembers this song but you. I think that's why you can see me.”
Aakash stared at him. His mind was trying to process what was going on. “Are you some sort of… are you a ghost?” he asked. He was a bit scared by the possibility.
“No… but I don’t know if I am alive anymore. I know that I am not dead,” the man said. “I used to be a normal person once. People could see and hear me. I lived a secluded life and didn’t talk to many people. Eventually, the ones who knew me died one by one. One day, there was no person who was left that knew me or remembered me. So the world forgot about me. It became as if I didn’t exist. Turns out, I did practically not exist because no one could see or hear me anymore.”
“Really?” Aakash asked. The man’s story moved him a little. “What is your name?”
The man chuckled. “It has been so long that anyone has called me by my name that I eventually forgot what my name was. People referred to me as ‘ba’ or ‘daju’. You can do the same.”
Aakash thought for a while. “You look, kind of, like my grandfather who passed away a long time ago. His name was Krishna. Can I call you by that name?”
The man smiled. “Yes, of course, please call me Krishna.”
“Where do you live, Krishna ba?” Aakash asked.
“Deep in the jungle there is a run down house that no one knows about anymore. I live there.”
“That sounds scary.”
“Don’t worry. Even the ghosts have forgotten that house.”
Aakash chuckled. His eyes fell on the guitar that the old man was holding. “Your guitar looks familiar,” he said.
“That’s because it is yours,” Krishna said.
“Mine?” Aakash remembered something. “Oh right, it’s that old guitar I had. How do you have it?”
“I have it because you forgot about it. I have a natural instinct on recognizing things that people have forgotten and I take them.”
“Is that so? I think I tried learning the guitar for a week and then forgot about it. Maybe it is good that you have it and are using it well.”
“Yeah. All the things that people have forgotten about, come to me. The clothes I’m wearing, my shoes and other things in my house are all things that people do not care about anymore. In a way, I’m blessed that people forget about a lot of things.”
“And forgotten songs also come to you?”
“Yes, it seems even immaterial things that people have forgotten about come to me.”
“So you must know many songs that I’ve never heard before.”
“Oh yes! So many great ones.”
“Can you play them?”
“Yes of course. I used to be a musician when I was young. Let me play you something you will like. It is similar to the one you heard me play just now.”
And then, Krishna started playing a beautiful old song that had become lost to time. Aakash listened to it with a smile on his face.
A few months later, Aakash came to Krishna’s house bringing milk and some doughnuts. Krishna was pleased to see him again.
“Let’s have some milk tea and doughnuts today, Krishna ba. The doughnuts from the shop by the temple are really good,” Aakash said.
“I know they are. I’ve been eating them since childhood. But once I became forgotten, I could no longer get them. Thank you Aakash for bringing them for me,” Krishna replied.
“People still can’t see you? I’ve been talking to you for months, something should have changed.”
Krishna sighed. “It’s fine. I’m used to this life now. In a way, I kind of wanted this life. Dealing with people is too much trouble anyway.”
They prepared tea and sat down together to have it with doughnuts.
“Ahh! They still taste like I remember them!” Krishna exclaimed.
“I love these doughnuts! And Krishna ba you make some amazing tea. Such a good combo!,” Aakash remarked.
“Thank you, Aakash”
They both smiled at each other.
Aakash looked down at the ground and tapped his fingers on the steel glass holding tea.
“What is it?” Krishna asked.
“Umm… Krishna ba, do you… can you keep a letter for me?” Aakash asked.
“A letter? Why? A letter to whom?”
“It is…” Aakash hesitated.
Krishna smiled. “I see, the letter is for a girl.”
Aakash looked down at the ground again. “Well it was… but… she didn’t read it.”
“Oh… why? What happened?” Krishna asked.
“You know…” Aakash scratched the back of his head. “I guess she didn’t like me.”
Krishna smiled. “Well it happens to everyone, young man. No need to be ashamed of it.”
Aakash looked at Krishna and said, “Yeah…” and sighed.
“So… why do you want me to keep the letter?” Krishna asked.
“I… I want to forget about it,” Aakash replied.
Krishna stared at him. “Why? Love is a beautiful thing my son, even if it is not reciprocated.”
“That may be… but… I don’t want this anguish anymore.”
Krishna chuckled. “Ah… young people with these young emotions! You don’t need to worry about it. With time, the anguish will go away and the memories will become sweet again.”
“How long does it take?” Aakash asked.
“Ah… could take years. Or you might find someone you like more, sooner than you think.”
Aakash battled with his thoughts in his head. He finally said, “She’s getting married soon. I can’t… I can’t keep it with me… anymore.”
Krishna looked at Aakash for a while. He said, “Ok, you want to forget about this letter. I’ll take it but I warn you, this is not a good habit. You are not supposed to forget the bad things that happen to you. They make you who you are.”
“I don’t know…” Aakash contemplated again. After a brief moment, he took out the letter from his jacket pocket and handed it to Krishna.
Krishna looked at the letter and then back at Aakash. “May I read it?” he asked.
“No,” Aakash said sternly. “P-please.”
“Haha! I’m joking,” Krishna said.
Aakash’s hands were trembling and he kept staring at the letter.
“Why don’t you read it again? Maybe you’ll change your mind,” Krishna said.
Aakash took a deep breath. “I don’t want to.”
“Are you sure? I’ll make it so that this is the last time you see it. Or remember it.”
Aakash took another deep breath and opened the envelope. He took out the letter and unfolded it. The paper was a bit old but there were no signs of wear and tear. The words were written in the best handwriting that Aakash could write. Krishna avoided his impulses to peek into the letter. As Aakash read the letter, Krishna could see his eyes getting more moist and his hands trembling. At many points, Aakash took pauses and wanted to stop but he powered through. At the end of it, he took a deep sigh, carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. He wiped his eyes, sniffled his nose and cleared his throat. He also had a vague smile on his face.
“Yeah… you can take it,” Aakash said.
“Really?” Krishna asked. “It seemed like you cared for it a lot.”
“I do… but it’s time to let go. I hadn’t read it again after she rejected my letter. I only held on to it all this time. It’s funny… I see how stupid I was back then but…” Aakash’s eyes were teary and he moved his head in an attempt to stop them. “I… I guess I really loved her.”
A bit of silence followed. Both of them focused on their tea and doughnuts. Krishna was still smiling. After finishing his tea, Aakash stood up.
“I should go,” Aakash said.
“Wait, you’re leaving already? Stay a bit.” Krishna said.
“No, I have things to do.”
“...Ok,” Krishna said. He looked at the letter on the table. “So you’re not taking the letter back?”
“No, like I said, I want you to keep it.”
“Ok, but you can take it back whenever you want, alright?”
Aakash cleared his throat again. “Thank you,” he said and walked out the door.
Over the years, Krishna and Aakash kept a good friendship between each other. They would meet up regularly and talk about life and its meaning and their place in the world. No one knew about their friendship and because no one could see or hear Krishna, it was not possible for Aakash to introduce him to his friends and family. So it remained a circumstantial secret. Also, Krishna kept a lot of secrets for Aakash. Aakash would again give Krishna a lot of things he no longer wanted in his life. Peculiarly, Aakash aged but Krishna didn’t. He stayed the same old man of about fifty years. Eventually, Aakash got to a similar age as Krishna and passed away from illness. Krishna attended Aakash’s funeral but no one saw him.
One day, Krishna was once again, playing his guitar and singing a song at the top of a hill by the roadside. This time, a young woman came to him. She came close and sat near him. She listened intently at the song with moist eyes. Krishna noticed her but was unsure if she was hearing his song. Nevertheless, he continued till the end. When he was finished, the woman smiled and clapped.
“Bravo! It is a beautiful song, isn’t it?” the woman said.
“It is,” Krishna said. “You can see and hear me?”
“Yes, and you play beautifully,” the woman said.
“Thank you. It was my friend’s favourite song.”
The woman smiled. “It was my father’s favourite song as well. He would regularly play it for me.”
Krishna looked at the woman. “Are you by chance, Madeline?”
The woman was astonished. “Yes. How do you know my name?”
“Oh,” Krishna exclaimed, “You must be Aakash’s daughter.”
Madeline looked at Krishna. “How do you know my father?”
“He was the friend I was talking about.”
“Oh, I hadn’t met you before.”
Krishna smiled. “I’ve seen you since you were a child but wow, you’ve grown up so much.”
Madeline searched for his face in her memory but couldn’t find him. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.”
“It’s fine,” Krishna said, “I am pleased to be able to meet you again. Your father and I were longtime friends and he talked about you a lot.”
Madeline looked away and took a deep breath. “How did he describe me?”
“Oh he loved you, he loved you a lot. He talked about you very fondly and was so proud of you.”
Madeline stared at Krishna. “You don’t need to lie. You can tell me the truth.”
Krishna was taken aback. “But it is true. He loved you very much.”
“Well…” Madeline looked away again. “That’s not how I remember him. I don’t think he liked me very much at all.”
Krishna smiled. “Oh you know, he had problems showing his true emotions but he actually did think highly of you, despite the problems between you two.”
Madeline kept staring at the distance. “I still don’t believe that he’s gone. I don’t know why things became the way it did between us. I wish it were different. I went abroad to get away from his… control and even changed my name to spite him. The name he gave me was Sheetal and it kind of didn’t fit me. I didn’t hate him and yes I did try to hurt him but I… I couldn’t become the daughter he wanted me to be.” Tears flowed from Madeline’s eyes. She took a deep breath. “I didn’t know he would… be gone. I thought he would always be there. It happened too soon. I missed his last days. I missed his funeral. I… I lost my chance to apologize… to say… that I loved him.” Madeline hid her face in her palms and sobbed.
Krishna was also tearing up. He came to her and hugged her. “Don’t worry, he knew. He knew that you loved him and it pained him to be so distant from you. We humans, we get in our own way. If there is anything I know about Aakash, I know that he loved you with all his heart.”
Madeline sobbed for some time. Krishna stayed with her and consoled her.
“Thank you, thank you,” Madeline said after having calmed down. She wiped her eyes and nose with a tissue. “I’m sorry, I never asked your name.”
Krishna smiled. “My name is Krishna.”
“Thank you uncle Krishna,” Madeline said.
“No need to thank me chori, I owe it to your father to look after you.”
Madeline looked at Krishna. “How long have you and my father been friends?”
“Hmm…” Krishna thought for a brief moment, “I think we knew each other for more than thirty years.”
“Oh,” Madeline exclaimed, “then you must know a lot about him.”
Krishna smiled. “Yeah, I knew him from when he was just a young man. Haha, those were such great times!”
“Can you tell me more about him? I feel like I never got to know him properly even though I’m his daughter.”
“Of course, it would be my pleasure. And guess what, I have a lot of things that your father held dear. He told me to keep it but I think it is fair that I should give them to you.”
Madeline looked at Krishna intently. “Really? Please, I want everything. Everything that I can remember him by.”
Krishna looked at Madeline and smiled. “I was keeping it all for you.”
THE END.